Absolutely Fabulous

The other day I read on Twitter that BBC is preparing a new season of Absolutely Fabulous. Hallelujah! You see, Patsy Stone and Eddie Monsoon are a pillar of the fashion industry (I wonder what this says about the fashion industry) and Ab Fab has been a crucial influence on virtually everyone I know. We all have spent countless hours laughing at the politically incorrect jokes made by these two ridiculous characters. Sometimes too ridiculous and far from reality? Maybe, but even if Patsy and Eddie are a caricaturesque and exaggerated version of actuality they represent something that exists in every woman (and in many men, too). All of us are somewhat like Eddie Monsoon or Patsy Stone (even if we hide it on our everyday life for, well, social survival purposes). But who are you: Patsy or Eddie? Or none? Take my quiz and find out!

1. Which of these is your favourite fashion brand?

A. Lacroix, sweetie, Lacroix! Oh wait, Lacroix is out of business now... McQueen, sweetie, McQueen!

B. Gareth Pugh, Rick Owens, Ann Demeulemeester... Anything ultra modern and slightly robotic.

C. Burberry Prorsum, I go for understated chic.

2. What does your house look like?

A. Priceless antiques co-exist with contemporary designer furniture, also priceless. Oh, and I posess a lot of modern art: paintings, hanger installations... you know, sweetie.

B. I don't know... there is a bed. A rack for clothes. Packs of cigarettes. Empty bottles. Old racing forms... I guess it's ok!

C. My house is decorated with classic taste. I like floral prints and light tones.

3. What's your ideal holiday?

A. I love fascinating places, authentic places, places where you can spiritually grow... and which have 5-star resorts with a vegetarian menu and jacuzzi.

B. I don't care, as long as I'm riding in the back of a Harley-Davidson with a guy dressed in leather and with tight buttocks.

C. I enjoy a lovely holiday in the coast. Cornwall, for instance.

4. Who is your favourite singer?
A. Janis Joplin.
B. The Sex Pistols.
C. Aretha Franklin.

5. Choose your favourite meal.
A. Food can't just nourish the body, I also has to nourish the spirit, darling. I eat roots, ginseng, seeds, drink celery juice... *munches doughnuts*
B. I haven't eaten since 1973.
C. I love Italian food.

6. Your morning beauty ritual consists of...

A. I wake up my mind and body with a multi-jet shower and essential oils, I have my esteticienne come by to give me my daily anti-aging, replenishing and anti-cellulite treatment, I meditate, I carefully choose a look that perfectly reflects my mood and I have an energizing breakfast while internally I repeat my mantra.
B. I try to find out where I am, light a cigarette and look for my knickers.
C. I have a shower and wash my face with cold water and soap.

7. Kate Moss is sitting at the next table in the nightclub. You...

A. Kate Moss? Did you say KATE? Oh Kate, KATE! Kate, sweetie, darling, Kate, listen; Kate!

B. I show her all my modeling pictures from the 60's, this pup needs to know how a really professional model looks and strikes a pose.

C. I politely ask for an autograph and leave her alone.

8. Do you believe in God?

A. I believe in a higher spiritual force that brings a delicate balance to the universe. I believe in cosmic wisdom. I believe in Buddha. I believe in Hare Krishna. I believe in chanting. I believe in the Kabbalah. I believe in raking stones in a Japanese garden. I believe in Vitamin Water.
B. God? I believe in The Ramones.
C. I believe in love and goodness and charity.

9. Your work is...

A. A holistic approach to human bonding, a global reinterpretation and re-shaping of the basis of beauty, a spiritual accomplishment expressed through new cultural parametres...
B. I say how, when, where and what, and everyone follows my orders. I am a prophet, I am a visionary, I am a dictator.
C. My work requires strong communicational skills.

10. Choose the image that inspires you the most:
A.

B.
C.
Now here are the results!
Did you choose a majority of A? You're Eddie Monsoon!

You're a mystical, open, wandering soul deeply involved in finding the right spiritual paths. You're also completely out of control and totally indisciplined. You can repeat you've had carrot and beetroot juice for supper all you want, everyone knows you've eaten a whole cheese pizza.

Majority of B? You're Patsy Stone!

Super fashionable, fantastic, swellegant... you have an ambivalent take on femininity that makes people sometimes wonder whether you're really a man. Your personality is dazzling, probably because most of the time you're under the influence. You're not rock & roll; Rock & Roll is You.

Majority of C? You're... Saffy!

Classical, sensible, intelligent and responsible... You're pretty much perfect, except... you're a total party pooper!

After taking the test myself I must confess to a majority of A's... What were your results? Tell me!